Football Offer

If you live in the Dallas area, you have probably been inundated with new stories about the “Party Pass Fiasco” at the Cowboys stadium for the season opener Sunday night. Short version: Jerry Jones wanted to set the NFL record for attendance and publicize his new stadium while making and extra couple of million dollars. How to do this? Sell 30,000 party passes for $30 each + parking.

Problem? There was only room for 14,000 people. The rest of ya’ll can stand outside and watch the game on TV after dropping your hard earned dollars, sitting through crappy traffic, and giving up your Sunday night. And for those that did get in…there is a video at the bottom of this post that shows how great the view was.

I feel bad for these people. They had no idea. Jerry Jones is a greedy money sucking (lets say person) who didn’t care a thing about people getting in to see the game. His goals were met. Screw the fans. I on the other hand, have an offer to help those folks save some money while getting at least the same experience.

So, here’s the deal. I am going to set my television in the window of my living room. You can each pay me $20 to watch it. That is an instant 30% savings! Better yet, you can park at the grocery store a few streets over and be MUCH closer than if you parked at Cowboy’s Stadium (stupid, very original name…nice job JJ). Not only that, parking is only going to be $20, at LEAST a 50% savings AND I will shuttle you over in the back of my pickup instead of making you walk. The people that are here early enough to be in front, will obviously have a better view, but unlike the Deathstar, I have a GIANT tree that many of you can climb for a better view. I am only selling 100 packages, but ALL 100 will get in, not just 45% of you. Send cash to me by Thursday to reserve your spot.

(Okay…so I’m not really doing this, lest those got-nothing-better-to-do-all-day Cowboy lawyers try to threaten me with copyright violation for broadcasting the game without permission. Unlike some NFL owners, I have ethics.)